Once Upon a time, there was a Dwarf Priest by the name of Mallet. He was a very egotistical priest, always believing that just because he had Spirit of Redemption, he would never die. One day, however, he was proven wrong. He came upon the most succulent looking piece of cheesecake on a log, in Borean Tundra. With his massive ego and equally huge appetite, he did not even take a moment to think about how suspicious the sight was. Taking a step forward, he started grabbing for the cake, when out from nowhere came a Forsaken Warrior, with a very amused expression upon her face.
“I never did think that someone would be stupid enough to fall for this trap, ” said the warrior in common, her eyes sparkling at her good boon.
Mallet tensed up, and did the stupidest thing one could have done in that situation. Instead of turning and running for his life, he started charging for the cheesecake. Using a swiftness potion, he jumped for the cake, but was knocked back by the warrior’s shield. Landing on the ground with a thud, he slowly managed to get himself up, slowly realizing the situation that he is in. Deciding that a piece of cheesecake may not be worth the trouble, he starts backing up slowly, thinking about how to run before his thoughts are interrupted by a haunted laughter.
“You amuse me, Dwarf! You face death over a piece of cake!,” the warrior could not stop laughing, “I will tell you this. If you can outrun yours truly to the Utgarde Pinnacle, you can have as many of these cakes as you want. If I catch up to you, though, you better hope that you have written your will.”
The warrior looked at Mallet expectantly, waiting to see his decision. Mallet, on the other hand, was beaming. He could have as many cakes as he wanted, and all he had to do was outrun a dead woman! Nodding his head at the warrior, he turned around and ran, popping another swiftness potion. As he started sprinting, he turned around to see the warrior quickly running after him faster than he was running! Panicking, he hoped that she had also just popped a potion; He really wanted that cake.
Hours passed by and the warrior showed no signs of tiring. Together, they ran through the frozen wastes of Dragonblight and the dense forests of Grizzly Hills before arriving in Howling Fjord. Mallet was exhausted, but he kept pushing for the keep. Soon, he would have that cake, and maybe even some ice cream. Minutes passed by as the Keep came into view, and outside the Pinnacle was a pile of cake as tall as the sky. To Mallet, it was the symbol of heaven, of complete bliss. He started to take another swiftness potion before he felt an exploding pain on his back left leg. Falling over, he looked at his leg and saw that his hamstring had been cut by the warrior’s large axe. Holding up his arms in a defensive position, he tried to stutter a plea of mercy, but was quickly cut down by the warrior. The last thing he saw was her malevolent grin and the glinting of her axe, before all went black.
The next time Mallet opened his eyes, he saw before him a world of shadow, where before him floated a beautiful apparition of white. Realizing what just happened, he jumped up and screamed as loud as he could into the world of the dead.
“*BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!*”
> To see image in full size, click the image above
Yes, I completely and utterly went there, because I had to. 
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This is, however, the first year that I have thought up of any WoW-related resolutions. I wonder if that means I am playing too much? Either way, here is the list!