Why Warriors Make The Best Lovers

Breaking News!!!

Warriors of Azeroth, I have just read that warlock blogger Saresa has just made public claims that Warlocks make the best lovers! This is unacceptable at best. Those cloth-wearing, emo demon fanatics have nothing on us, the Warriors of Azeroth! We are the best lovers, and here is why.

#12. Extreme Amounts of Stamina

Unlike warlocks in their frilly red and black dresses, Warriors have to endure a lot during the day. Carrying a shield, getting beat on, lugging around backpacks full of plate armor. Doing all of this gives us a lot of stamina. Unlike our emo friends, the warlocks, I can perform well in the bedroom for days on end. 

#11. Power

Not only do I get a lot of stamina, I also get a lot of strength. I can go as soft as you want me to, or as hard as you wish. By the end of bedroom play, I guarantee my partner and I will be blissfully sore.

#10. Masochism

Warriors (and other less hit dependent tank classes), are the ultimate Masochist. We love to be hit, because that increases our rage. Increasing our rage makes us go harder and longer. My partner won’t ever get tired of torturing me, because I as a warrior love it!

#9. Sadism

For those on the opposite end of the spectrum, Warriors are also the ultimate Sadist. We hit things to get rage, as well as getting hit. So if my partner wants some kinky fun done to them, they can be sure to count on me to gladly take up the job.

#8. Weapons

I have one of the biggest collection of weapons (or toys as I call them) our of any class known to existance. I will have all the tools we would ever need. If you need it, I got it. If you want a wand though, you’ll have to put up with the hilt of my sword.

#7. Rage

It is very simple. You hit me, I get rage. I hit you, I get rage. The more rage I get, the better I perform. Want me to be the best sex god in the world? Just keep turning me on.

#6 Dirty Talk

As a side effect of dying a lot, you get a rather big vocabulary of curse words. What better use to put all those words to than to dirty talk until you are begging for more? That is, of course, if you like it. 

#5. Bloodrage

Need me now? No problem, one second and my rage is already building up. Just give the word and I am yours to command. Any place, any time. Be careful though, if you suddenly go cold turkey, I may just have to rage dump on you.

#4. Charging and Intercepting

Want to give chase? Afraid I may hurt you? Go ahead, run, I am used to the chase, and there is nothing better. You better run fast. Close enough and I’ll charge. As you’re stunned, well, who knows what would happen in those few seconds. I’m sure the end result would delight us both.

#3. Overpower

For those who enjoy power games, you will find no one better than a warrior. Try to dominate me, I’ll fight back with overpower until I am pinned into submission. Alternatively, you’ll be the one pinned. 

#2. Stances

As you train as a Warrior, you are taught to reach into the more primal and wild part of yourself to draw upon your abilities and life. This makes us, in our own way, rather attuned with our inner selves and instinct. We don’t learn, we just know and adapt to it. I could one day be careful, using Defensive stance to protect us both. The next day I can be outgoing, changing into Battle stance to give us both pleasure. The most important one of all though is Berserker stance, where I can go harder and faster. Lets see a warlock do that.

#1. Heroic Strike

Finally, our best ability. Once our rage hits a certain level, we are able to dump it over and over again through many different techniques and skills, the most common one being Heroic Strike. If you are one to enjoy multiple excursions during bedroom play, stick around with a warrior. They’ll be eager to heroic Strike you as often as you desire.

In closing. We do not need pets. We do not need curses. We do not need demons. We have all the power we need in ourselves, and I would like to see a warlock stand up to us in the bedroom for a night. We’ll see who ends up on top.